Ages

This is for Friday January 5, 2007 Ages a good friend of mine left us today he only lived here for 5 years but had a good life we will miss him ..... good boi, good boi, good boi.....

catch my thoughts 2

I was looking back on my last post and saw something, it isn't just my life style that has me down, it's also me not having a JOB!!!! living in this part of TN is hard to find work to make even a small way of life. I haven't had a job in almost 3 months, I'll work for a week or a day or two as a temp, it seems to be that way here you either have a full time job that one of your family member has gotten for you or you are a temp, or you drive 50 some odd mile and work for 6 or 7.00 an hour. It's hard here TO MAKE A LIVING, most of the people around here have a crazy check to live off of and then sell there pills to make more money. I have 2 cousins who both draw a check and sell pills, there check combined is only 900 a month but when they sell there pills they make around 1000 to 2000 a week, and they are just fine to work, as well as you or me. I guess some are Lucky and some aren't. I know selling drugs are bad but damn it, I want a piece of the pie too; I'm working my ass off when I get to work that is, and only get the damn crust and the dry crust at that . I cheated one time on my taxes and I got caught so now I have to pay 3800 back , but oh well my Granddaddy always said give a man enough rope and he will hang him self, I guess, I hung my self. I cheated and got caught. All I want here is a horse to ride in the MTNS., and a good job not allot to ask for, I will buy the horse just give me a good job something I can be proud of my self for doing and that gives me a good living ,food on my table power in my home and gas in my truck , and a good looking bubba in a F-350 dually 4x4 with a dip ring in his back pocket ,hell I can drive to another county for that ( hot damn love me a mtn man) , or give me a good woman that cooks well and gives good Love, what else can a person ask for in life NOTHING , okay maybe a good bottle of whiskey and a fat sack of 420!!!!! ... Well none of this probably won't happen so thank God for Lexapro... until the next time to all have a good time in what ever you do.....................................

catch my thoughts

I came to my home in TN, in may of 1999 from, SC trying to get away from drugs, what a big let down that was, there are more drugs here than there were in SC not the best but still drugs. I thought it would be harder to find the drugs here being a small town was I fooled when you found one kind they all fell right along with each other. I was also trying to run away from something even tougher than drugs but it came with me not at first but it found me anyway, hell it never left me, I left it, with it being a really big part of me I can't get rid of it so I have come to terms with it and now I have started to let it come out slowly but surely . When I lived in SC the life style I lived was okay to a lot of people but here it is not okay it is frowned on by a great deal of people they have been taught all of there life's as well as I have that it is wrong and you will burn in hell for it . People here where I live will talk about you like a Dog for this way of life and some will burn your house down for it and even beat you up for it they can't seem to understand any other way of life than man and women, men on men , and women on women just can't make sense to them nor do they want to understand it . They can cheat on each other talk about everyone and even do drugs out the butt, steal,cheat,rob,and do all sort of bad things but to do or have a life style such as mine it just can't happen . I know there's a lot of people that are just beating the door down trying to get out so bad but are so afraid of being outcast by there family and friends, hell I'm one of them but this is who I am I can't help it I didn't choose this it is a part of me it is who I am .. I wish more would understand it here it would make a lot of people happier . Boy did I move to the wrong place I'm going to have to hide the way I am from a lot of people sometimes I here what people say about me but let them say all they want until they have or seen me with someone the hell with them.I love it here I want to stay here until the day I die, so if anyone has any ideas on what I can do let me know ?